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I give up.
Stop me if you’ve heard this one before. We took a loss of £50,000 last month. At this rate we won’t dip below £12 million until January.
Huh. My approval rating dropped 4 points to 79% but I’m still “Untouchable.” I did some poking around and I got a 15 point drop in the “Tactics” area in which I’m rated. I guess the fans don’t like that I’m sticking with the Diamond for an entire month? Fickle, fickle fans.
No news that’s fit to print.
Look, a loan report!
Kemar’s performance was good enough for him to come in second for the Premier League Young Player of the Month award.
With a cup match against a seriously lesser opponent I’m fielding my second picks. Sure hope the Phoenix doesn’t rise to burn me. With O’Shea still nursing his tender ankle I’m bringing Rory Collopy up from the U23s to start at left centreback. This will be his first competitive action for Brixton.
vs. Phoenix Sports, 2 October 2019
Formation: 4-4-2 Diamond Standard (GK, DR, DC r, DC l, DL, DMC, MR, ML, AMC, ST r, ST l)
Starting XI: O’Keeffe, Johnstone, Nightingale, Collopy, Rice, Roberts, Watkins, Leary, Harding, Thirwell, Rae
Subs: Legg, Parker, Smith, Taylor, Hibbert, Macey, McLeish
We have a sizeable crowd today who get to witness another back-heel pass in the six-yard box for a goal, this time it’s Thriller being fancy and Rae getting the goal. Best part of all is that it came in the fourth minute. Around three minutes later the same players get an assist and goal, with Thriller’s assist coming from a backwards header that surprised everyone. From there on it’s just more cake walking highlighted by another Thirlwell to Rae score as Alex gets his hat trick.
The own goal was unbelievable. Harding sent the ball to the left corner but Leary was already dreaming of the post-match snacks or something so he didn’t pursue it. Phoenix’s right DC gathered it and started dribbling for the goal and tried to pass it to the goalie but it was more of a cross and went right past the goalie and in. This is another Sport Interactive schizophrenic programming error. Before the half can end their other DC chops down Thriller just outside the box and gets a straight red.
You may have noticed no player names are underlined above. I did not make any substitutions. Give the second stringers some extra minutes, you know.
POM: Alex Rae 9.6 (3 goals, 2 key passes, 1 chance created)
After the match Rae’s agent comes asking for a new contract. He’s with us until 30 June 2021 and, if we get promoted that season and he gets into 10 matches, an extension is triggered. So a big fat nope for Paul Irwin. Of course Rae wants to talk about the matter but I point out the time remaining but what was left unsaid is that he’s not been as great this season as he was last season.
We made £10k or so from the match. I really need to rethink appearance fees and goal bonuses during contract negotiations. First World problems, I know.
As noted in my last update, we would be facing Deal or Royston in the next round of the Southern League Cup. We get to face Royston, who put a smack-down on Deal, though it was their first win since 27 August. Ouch.
More international matches are coming up and we’ll be sans two starters, Alan Coates and Meilir Pugh, and two high-quality subs, Gareth O’Keeffe and Dean Rice. Looking at the schedule I’m not too worried as they will only miss the FA Vase cup match against Sunderland YMCA.
Before we can get to our next match, FA Cup, I’m tortured with a press conference. The questions are all about our confidence on a match we “should be winning.” Then they turn to Kemar outgrowing Huddersfield. No comment.
The next morning Huddersfield had their pre-match presser with Kemar and a permanent move being one of the questions. Their manager declined to answer the question. It’s gonna be costly if you want him.
Bognor Regis are not that good of a team according to the scouting report. I feel a trap though.
vs. Bognor Regis, 5 October 2019
Formation: 4-4-2 Diamond Standard
Starting XI: Legg, Parker, Pilcher, Smith, Jefcoate, Coates, Hibbert, Pugh, Taylor, Macey, McLeish
Subs: O’Keeffe, Johnstone, Nightingale, Ferguson, Robinson, Harding, Thirlwell
It takes almost a third of the match but we strike first with Hibbert muscling off a defender to send a low cross from the byline to a wide open McLeish at the far post. I think I could have even tapped that one in. That though was the only highlight in the first half therefore they get an Assertive talk about complacency.
Deflections, blessed be thy name. Three minutes into the new half Taylor tries to boot a goal from far but the ball deflects off a defender right to Pugh who has a clear shot. His shot deflects off the goalie and goes in. We are riding luck again. Except Macey. His one-on-one at 62’ sees him send the ball up into a theoretical upper deck that Brockwell Park does not have. The game closes out with several half-assed shots by Macey, McLeish, and Coates; we end up getting 9 shots on target out of 32 attempts. Pathetic.
POM: Bill Taylor 8.4 (1 assist, 3 key passes, 3 chances created)
In the post-match press gathering I was asked about Coates being at DMC so I told the assembled masses that his versatility must be used. The bloodsuckers also ask about Macey’s pathetic display and I actually go off my normal Calm script and Assertively call him out. I did not get a reaction out of him so I get him front and center before my desk. Luckily he took it like the professional he is.
In positive news we made around £46,500 on the day.
Remember how I said there was a DM in Ireland who looks kinda promising? I decided to offer a contract. I forgot though that because he’s not English (or is it British?) the transfer wouldn’t happen until his 18th birthday, 24 May 2021. Oh never mind, Adrian O'Laoi.
I still would like an additional U18 DC though. This Adrian Partridge guy is very slow but he does have some reasonably good Technical and Mental attributes and he is a tall Professional.
I offer a pretty standard Youngster contract: £180/week for 2 years with an option.
Speaking of youths, our U18s are in a league with pretty regular match days and now are in a youth cup that plays in groups kind of like the World Cup and Champions League. The kids are all getting plenty of action and all are in the 90s for Match Sharpness with all but three 95% or higher.
We got a fist full of cup draws and for the FA Cup we… go to Solihull Moors who are currently 23rd in the Conference National. Bummer. I wanted a home match. Despite being two levels up the pyramid their lowly position there gives me hope.
Awesomesauce! Kemar got an assist in Huddersfield’s 3-2 victory over Tottenham. I took a look at things and he is playing a Complete Forward in a 4-2-3-1 formation. The Terriers started the season with three losses but have turned it around recently. Hopefully he scores more goals and they remain a strong team.
I’ve been rocking the Pre-Match Tactical Briefing lately so I hope that carries over into the match. Today we take on Reddit. We’re gonna down-vote them until they run to the dark corner of the web and cry themselves to sleep.
at Redditch, 8 October 2019
Formation: 4-4-2 Diamond Standard
Starting XI: Legg, Johnstone, Pilcher, Smith, Parker, Ferguson, Robinson, Leary, Harding, Thirlwell, Rae
Subs: O’Keeffe, Nightingale, Jefcoate, Roberts, Taylor, Watkins, Macey
What? Not Reddit? R-e-d-d-i-t-c-h? As in Red Ditch? Why is the ditch red? From the blood of our enemies?
Unregardless™ Thriller makes another appearance, beating the keeper after out running everyone on the defense; Leary’s pass was perfectly placed. His second try isn’t so clean and he gets stonewalled. Rae follows suit at 15’ and I mean that he beat the keeper. A minute later he is un-Thriller like and beats the goalie a second time.
The good times come to a screeching halt at 20’ when Harding breaks his hand and has to be subbed immediately. Luckily within 15 minutes Rae’s hat trick comes from another great Leary pass. And with us on Easy Street before the half Rae gets his fourth. Alex is back!
I figured the final 45 would go by quietly but after I sub off Rae, his replacement Watkins receives a Thriller pass and chips one in from 18 yards out. Then we see the match out.
POM: Alex Rae 9.8 (4 goals)
So let’s peak into the trainer’s room to get the latest on Harding’s hand. What do you means he’s not here? How was he able to heal up by the end of the match?! Maybe he’s Superman? Or Wolverine? Deadpool?!?
On my way from the doc’s room to my office I get accosted by yet another agent. This shmoe represents Johnstone and must feel that an 8.7 for a right fullback means an extra £200 a week. I walk right past him and when the player himself tries to walk in 9 minute later, I have Macey tackle him before he crosses the threshold. Eddie convinces him to cool his jets.
That Adrian Partridge kid still hasn’t signed but a team way down in the 11th level of the pyramid has offered him a contract so maybe that’ll make him realize he should just come to Brixton. The next day Cheddar also offer him a contract. I don’t know how much cheddar they offered. Anybody remember that slang from late 80s, early 90s? Just me. Drat.
The Belgian U23 Coach that I hired over the off-season got a crash course in English and is now fluent. This is a really cool, immersive game.
Oh yes, Sunderland YMCA. We are short of some players on international duty but this will be an easy game so I’m not worried. The second stringers are not as fit so Sunderland will face my preferred starters.
And it is at this moment that I realize today’s opponent is the team way down below who offered Adrian Partridge a contract. I hope he came to the match to see what he could be a part of.
vs. Sunderland Ryhope CA, 12 October 2019
Formation: 4-4-2 Diamond Standard
Starting XI: Legg, Parker, Pilcher, Smith, Jefcoate, Roberts, Hibbert, Leary, Taylor, Macey, McLeish
Subs: Webb, Johnstone, Nightingale, Ferguson, Watkins, Harding, Thirlwell
We get an early chance but Macey sends it right to the goalie. Our next highlight doesn’t come until 36’ when Macey does something he’s actually good at: Crossing from the byline to McLeish’s forehead, resulting in a goal. McLeish gets them again on a breakaway as prescribed by Doctor Hibbert, heheheheheheheh.
Complacency is highlighted at the break but Roberts and McLeish get stressed. This shouldn’t be a problem. Macey does redeem himself though with a goal just before 62’ and I start shuffling players out.
POM: Derek McLeish 9.3 (2 goals, 3 key chances, 2 chances created)
We should have stomped them. I guess I can’t expect domination all the time.
Sunday is draw day and for the next round of the FA Vase we travel to Boston, not New England but a team in the Conference North, where they are the top of the league. This could be a problem.
I’ve got a pocket, got a pocket full of cup draws. Next up is the FA Trophy. Supposing we get past the Romulans, we get to host Harrow, currently in a league equal to ours.
Huddersfield U23s had a mid-day match just hours before our match. Kemar got to play for some reason but he did well: a goal, an assist, and an 8.2 rating. I took a look at his Transfer tab and nobody is interested. That is good news for us trying to keep him, I suppose. I’ll be interested to see what happens in the January transfer market.
Guess who’s back, back again? Gareth O’Keefe! He didn’t get any playing time while away with the lads of Ireland so he gets today’s start. Not to mention I’m treating him pretty much as the cup goalie. Coates came back Jaded so he gets three days off and Pugh came back Tired so he gets the day off. We are in all competitions still and we better win today or the board will be mad.
at Romulus, 16 October 2019
Formation: 4-4-2 Diamond Standard
Starting XI: O’Keeffe, Parker, Pilcher, Smith, Jefcoate, Ferguson, Watkins, Leary, Harding, Macey, Rae
Subs: Legg, Johnstone, Nightingale, Roberts, Robinson, Hibbert, Thirlwell
What can I say? It’s always a good thing when all three of your strikers score. Macey was a bit slow getting things going for himself but got two before the mid-way point and a third 23 seconds into the second half and his fourth 33 seconds after the restart. Just over a minute later he almost had his fifth! I swapped him out early and Thriller got two after Rae got his first.
POM: Eddie Macey 9.9 (4 goals, 1 assist, 4 key passes, 2 chances created)
What’s a guy gotta do to get a 10.0 around here?! Maybe if that fifth goal had gone in?
We have a quiet few days. Adrian Partridge still hasn’t signed but two more teams of lesser quality make offers. C’mon, dude!
Solihull are two rungs above us but have now dropped to the lowest position of the Conference National. I have no idea how they’ve remained up for the last two season as their roster is littered with underachievers. Our U18s are better than them. In other words, I smell blood in the water.
at Solihull Moors, 19 October 2019
Formation: 4-4-2 Diamond Standard
Starting XI: Legg, Parker, Pilcher, Smith, Jefcoate, Coates, Hibbert, Pugh, Taylor, Macey, McLeish
Subs: O’Keeffe, Johnstone, Nightingale, O’Shea, Roberts, Leary, Thirlwell
They start out in a really narrow formation so I immediately add the Exploit the Flanks command and set our width a little wider. Things start off slow and I begin to worry. Have no fear, Eddie Macey’s here! Well, out by the right corner flag where he launches a long cross to the far post for McLeish’s waiting forehead. We’re up one before 10 minutes. Slight relief. In the second the Moors get an early free kick way too close to our goal for comfort. They almost score but Legg gathers it in a scrum but an offisides is called anyway. Ten minutes in it’s a repeat but this time Eddie’s cross is low and Derek’s goal is off his left foot. Much more relief.
The subs come on naturally around 65’ with Parker, Pilcher, and Pugh bowing out for Johnstone, O’Shea (making his return!), and Leary, of course. And that proves fortuitous when Leary lifts the ball high and long for charging Eddie, who gets a crazy looking goal from a side kick 10 yards out. Detecting an imbalance in the Force, Macey restores the natural order, crossing to McLeish for our fourth goal. What is that? Like our fourth match this month with a hat trick or better?
POM: Derek McLeish 9.7 (3 goals, 2 key passes, 2 chances created)
In the next round of the FA Cup we get to face Shaw Lane of the Conference North. They are doing well there so this could be a minor challenge. And if we lose, we’ll make some cash from hosting.
On Monday, Huddersfield lose to Leicester, 3-2, but both Huddersfield goals came courtesy of Kemar. Excellent, Smithers…
Adrian Partridge still hasn’t signed but it looks like another central defender might join our team. Josh Scott is a bit of an enigma. He’s not tall, can’t jump, and can’t head the ball. His Natural Fitness and Stamina aren’t starter quality but if he were to join Brixton he ultimately would be our second best behind Pilcher at DC and Johnstone at DR; he’s rated at 4.5 stars of Potential Ability. He doesn’t really have the Pace for a great DR but his Acceleration is top-notch. His ball skills would never support him being an attacking fullback. But his team, Hyde, who are in the same level of the English football pyramid as us, are asking only £1,500, according to my scouts. He’s also Inconsistent and has a Competitive Streak. I would put him in the U18s until January if he were to come.
Also, I can’t believe a 17-year-old would have such an extensive history.
I go ahead and offer £1,000. Portsmouth are also interested, they’re in the Championship, so this will probably bring a protracted wait period just like Partridge’s. I was going to offer him Hot Prospect playing time but now I have to make him a Backup. And then his contract demand comes in. He wants £700 per week plus a £210 appearance fee. No. If he didn’t have the Competitive Streak and wasn’t short I would do this. Dammit.
Just another lovely day in South London. I have no fear, so the second-stringers are here.
vs. Hitchin, 23 October 2019
Formation: 4-4-2 Diamond Standard
Starting XI: Legg, Johnstone, Pilcher, Nightingale, Rice, Roberts, Robinson, Leary, Harding, Thirlwell, Rae
Subs: O’Keeffe, Parker, O’Shea, Smith, Ferguson, Pugh, Watkins
The great thing about crossing is sometimes you miss because the target man is being pulled down. Thirlwell crosses, Rae is held down, Thirlwell gets the penalty opportunity, and scores. Thirty minutes later they try a reprise and this time an unmolested Rae heads one in. In the 52nd we seal the deal with another header, from a Harding free kick to Nightingale to Rae.
I do some late subbing, just two, because O’Shea needs match sharpness and Leary needs a rest. Pugh’s emergence with fresh legs against tired Hitchin defenders proves to be just what Thriller needed for his brace. Even though I go Defensive, allowing us free kicks deep in your territory is unwise as Nightingale nods one in from Robinson’s restart.
POM: Marcus Thirlwell 9.5 (2 goals, 1 assist, 3 key passes, 1 chance created)
I’m back to being money-obsessed. From that match we made £12,220. I love me some cold, hard cash, even if the Queen’s mug is on it.
Oh joy. Big teams are sniffing around my players again. The managers for Barnsley and Queens Park Rangers were in the stands to watch Pilcher. Oy.
I lose patience with Adrian Partridge so I change his contract to £200 per week and a £500 signing bonus. My impatience costing Brixton money...not the first time, not the last time, I’m sure.
O’Shea is back for his first start in over a month, against a team who shouldn’t be such a push-over. Dorchester are eighth in the league and have a pretty good striker in Aaron Moore, who already has won four POM awards this season. His only downside for this league is his 7 Stamina. Hopefully he’ll tire out and not present a challenge in the second half.
vs. Dorchester, 26 October 2019
Formation: 4-4-2 Diamond Standard
Starting XI: Legg, Parker, Pilcher, O’Shea, Jefcoate, Coates, Hibbert, Pugh, Taylor, Macey, McLeish
Subs: O’Keeffe, Johnstone, Smith, Ferguson, Leary, Harding, Watkins
It takes 74 seconds for Macey to display his superior skills to the Dorchester team. It was a classic “from the back” build up with Coates passing to Taylor, to McLeish, to Macey. It’s what I’ve always dreamed of. (sniff, sniff) The second Macey goal is almost an exact duplicate of the first, 17 minutes later. More tears from me. :-) Just after a third of the match has transpired, Eddie finalizes his claim on the POM award assisting Hibbert after some more up the middle play. Three minutes later there is no longer doubt as Macey gets tripped in the box and scores on the penalty.
Naturally, I dialed things back at the half but that doesn’t stop Eddie getting a fourth just 3 minutes in.
And there it is folks, our first ever player with 5 goals in a match. Eddie, you freaking beast! This is I believe our first ever 10.0 rating too. So naturally, with the FM gods on our side, Dorchester gets a man sent off at 60’ and we see out the match, but not before Taylor makes it 7. Then he makes it 8.
POM: Eddie “The Beast” Macey 10.0!!! (5 goals, 1 assist, 2 key passes, 2 chances created)
That Dorchester striker, Moore, rated a 5.9.
The Lower Leg Injury Bug doesn’t just hit the senior team. Rory Collopy, in the U23s, managed to hurt himself in training (all four of his injuries have come from training) pulling his ankle ligaments; he’ll be out 1 to 2 weeks.
Shortwood United actually has some pretty good players, notably an 18 y/o striker, a 19 y/o midfielder, a 22 y/o Irish leftback, and a 22 y/o Italian striker. The good news is that all but the midfielder have Determinations in the single digits. That means I’m going to put O’Keeffe between the posts.
at Shortwood, 29 October 2019
Formation: 4-4-2 Diamond Standard
Starting XI: O’Keeffe, Johnstone, Pilcher, Smith, Rice, Roberts, Watkins, Leary, Harding, Macey, Thirlwell
Subs: Legg, Parker, O’Shea, Ferguson, Robinson, Pugh, Rae
It’s a cold, wet, dreary night in western England which matches my mood for the first 22:39 of this match. Finally we get some action and the Target Man/Advanced Forward combo of Thriller and The Beast works to perfection. Another 17 minutes go by before the favor is returned with Thriller’s height and heading ability proving too much for the Short defenders. I say “Another” because I swear we’ve been scoring 17 minutes apart a lot recently.
Not five minutes on from the midway point Rice fouls a Short player out wide in our end with the resulting free kick getting headed by their tall Argentinian right midfielder. Mighty O’Keeffe’s hands smother the ball and we retain our lead. The action slows down with nary an action sequence until 82’ when a player named Renew pushes Fergie during a free kick into the box. Thriller’s penalty goes in after he jukes the goalie to the right but shoots left.
POM: Marcus Thirlwell 9.1 (2 goals, 1 assist, 2 key passes, 2 chances created)
I checked on the 17 minute thing. It happened in the Dorchester match, three days before. So not a lot. Memory is a funny thing.
By the by, Jamie Hopkinson has been tearing it up for Worksop. In 11 matches, he has 7 goals, 3 assists, and is rating at 7.37. Pretty good.
What can you say about a month in which you concede zero goals? We’re awesome. Evidently not awesome enough for some scrub DC to immediately sign with us though.
Remember back in September 2017 when I was scouting the Irish Youth Intake Day players and ended up signing three of them: Mark Nixon, Stephen Dunne, and Martin Duggan? But one of the ones I wanted, Jesse Gilroy, got away? Where is Jesse these days? Well, for his original team, Salthill, he had 10 appearances, 5 goals, 3 assists, and 2 POM awards, earning him a 7.2 rating. But then he was released on a free and signed by Swindon in League Two. After two years there he was bought for £500,000 by Bournemouth, in the Premier, but loaned to Petersborough, in League One, where he’s scored 2 goals in 7 matches. On top of that, he’s capped for Ireland U21s. I should have Shortlisted him so I could have possibly swooped in before Swindon caught wind of him.