When They Kick At Your Front Door:
A BRIXTON FC Story

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Introduction

“When they kick at your front door, how you gonna come?”

That is the opening line to the song “Guns Of Brixton” by The Clash. I bet the writer, The Clash’s bassist Paul Simonon, never imagined that the line could be interpreted the way I have. “Kick” could be a reference to kicking the football and “front door” could mean football being played professionally right there in Brixton, on the former ground of HM Prison Brixton. And I hope the fans “come” in droves.

What is this all about?

This a Football Manager 2018 Dynasty Report inspired by my love of English music. I’ll discuss Football Manager later on.

Eh?

My long fascination with England is rooted in my love of bands from there. My two favorite bands are New Model Army and Carter the Unstoppable Sex Machine. Other English acts that I love are XTC, The Clash, Pop Will Eat Itself, Queen, Gary Numan, Billy Bragg, and The Streets.

There are many connections between Brixton and the music I listen to. First and foremost, the song I mentioned above, “Guns of Brixton.” Another reference you might be familiar with is Eddy Grant’s “Electric Avenue.” Many Carter USM songs make reference to areas like Tulse Hill, Clapham, Peckham, New Cross, and of course Brixton itself. Several musicians were born there (David Bowie, Mick Jones, Paul Simonon), lived there (Mike Skinner, Jimbob, Fruitbat) or spent time in Brixton Prison (Glenn Danzig, Mick Jagger).

Speaking of Brixton Prison, in the fictional story (in my head) of the team’s origin, their future massive stadium will be on the former site of the prison spreading up into Windmill Gardens, its name sake. (Brixton Prison was closed due to its upkeep becoming too expensive for the local government and the Brixton club owners agreeing to build a new facility outside the city.) Windmill Gardens is scheduled to open on 1 July 2022 and thus the club built a small stadium on the westside of Brockwell Park; it also functions as the training ground/reserve stadium and will remain so after the move in 2022. City Heights Academy in the real-world is where the Brixton Youth Academy is.

I’m not being too original but the nicknames for Brixton will be Mortars and Guns. I made Guns the second nickname because those bastards at Arsenal are already the Gunners and I don’t want too much confusion.

Other Inspiration

This Dynasty Report was directly inspired by three people:

Jim Gindin Of course it starts with him. In the late 90s he took sports simming to a new level. I guess over the years I spent around $150 on his products. From around Christmas 1998 to Halloween 2007 I played FOF or FOF:TCY (mostly TCY) just about every day. For 2 to 12 hours per day. Money very well spent. You’re a legend, Jim!

Scott Brown When I finally got my act together and stayed with FM for more than a month, I was struggling to understand position combinations. While researching I found this wonderful Let’s Play by accident and learned some stuff. More importantly, I was entertained. I’ve read it in full probably four or five times since October 2019. The style of this blog is an homage to Scott’s LP. I wonder how he feels about Wrexham getting two Sugar Daddies.

Loki Doki A YouTube personality (and what a personality!) who lives a simple life of playing Football Manager for profit and rescuing animals. Not a lot of profit, mind you. He’s always entertaining and keeps me out of the FM doldrums; I watch him to get a good laugh and get inspired to get back into the game.


Football Manager 2018

Welcome to Football Manager 2018. If you don’t know what Football Manager is, read the next paragraph. If you already have devoted your life and soul to Football Manager, skip the next paragraph.

Football Manager is THE premier sports simulation computer game for managing football clubs. Clubs not teams, I’m talking association football, or as us ‘mericans call it, soccer. You can choose to manage a club in your nation of choice, though for some of the smaller nations you have to download custom databases from Steam Workshop. Everywhere in the world except ‘merica the football leagues have a promotion/regulation pyramid structure meaning that bad teams get dropped to a level below and the good teams get elevated to a level above. To put it in U.S. terms, the Carolina Panthers and Chicago Bears would have been dropped down to Division 1 and Alabama and Michigan would be in the NFL.

Let’s Talk Pyramid Schemes

For this story I am playing in England in the 9th level of the English football league system. Essentially, at that level it’s a bunch of guys in their late 20s and early 30s trying to (re)capture that glory that eluded them. FM doesn’t come stocked with that many leagues for England (you can go down to the 6th level) so I had to download a databased called “England Level 10 and Cup Competitions” by danseakin. Mad props, dude!

Game Setup

However, because Brixton is a fictional club, I’ve had to add them to the database. The scenario I’ve chosen is that Brixton is owned by a Sugar Daddy who has pumped loads of money into the team, built a highest-quality Youth Academy, built a 7,000-seat Reserve Stadium (that will act as the Senior stadium for now), and is building a 25,000-seat stadium, which will lie on the grounds of real-world Windmill Gardens and HM Prison Brixton, set to open on 1 July 2022.

I’ve also granted Brixton a full complement of coaches because despite loving the endless scouting for players, I just cannot stand scouting for staff. I’ve got an assistant manager (hereafter known forever and ever as an AssMan), a head of youth development, two goalkeeping coaches, two fitness coaches, and five regular coaches.

I added Brixton to the Southern Counties East League, swapping out Rusthall because they had the lowest Reputation (150). I’ve given Brixton a reputation of 1 (out of 10,000) to make things somewhat realistic.

I added 17 players to the database for Brixton but all of them are 15 or 16 years old to simulate a new beginning of players graduating from the Youth Academy.

As far as other playable leagues, I added Ireland, Northern Ireland, Scotland, and Wales. I also added Belorussia so I could have a mid-March start in order to have enough time to find some slightly older players to act as mentors before the start of the season. So with a start date of 13 March 2017, it’s time to start the fun.

The Write Stuff

A note about my writing style: I’m a professional writer and editor. It’s hard work and taxes one’s brain agonizing over some of the smallest details. Sometimes I need to let my hair down and unwind. Therefore I’m not putting a lot of effort into editing, and I'm writing like I speak, all stream-of-conscious like. So if there is bad grammar, misspelled words, or weird sentence structures…well, I’m not gonna worry about it. :-) I hope it doesn’t detract from your experience.


Index of Updates

Year Zero:  An American WereCoach in South London
13 March 2017 to 25 June 2017
Meet The Team: 13 March 2017
Pre-Pre-Season: Late March through April 2017
Holiday: May through June 2017

Year One:  Southern Counties East League
26 June 2017 to 24 June 2018
Pre-Season: July 2017
Season Begins: August 2017 - Let's Get It Started In Here!
Late Summer: September 2017 - And They're Off!
Early Autumn: October 2017 - Walking On Sunshine
Late Autumn: November 2017 - Easy Like Sunday Morning
Early Winter: December 2017 - Going Down To South Park
The New Year: January 2018 - Don't Stop Me Now
Deep Winter: February 2018 - Semi-Charmed Kind Of Life
Youth Intake Day 2018 - Reasons To Be Cheerful, Part 1
Early Spring: March 2018 - The Winner Takes It All
Mid-Spring: April 2018 - Movin' Right Along
Late Spring: May 2018 - That Was Easy
Holiday: June 2018 - Hot Fun In The Summertime

Year Two:  Southern League First Division West
25 June 2018 to 24 June 2019
Pre-Season: July 2018 - We Have Liftoff!
Season Begins: August 2018 - I Guess That's Why They Call It The Blues
Late Summer: September 2018 - Everything's Cool
Early Autumn: October 2018 - The Right Stuff
Late Autumn: November 2018 - ‘Cause This Is Thriller
Early Winter: December 2018 - No New Tales To Tell
The New Year: January 2019 - Breaking Up Is Hard To Do
Deep Winter: February 2019 - I Get Knocked Down But I Get Up Again
Youth Intake Day 2019 - Reasons To Be Cheerful, Part 2
Early Spring: March 2019 - I'm Winning, And I Don't Intend On Losing Again
Mid-Spring: April 2019 - We're Better Than Them
Late Spring: May 2019 - I Get By With A Little Help From My Friends
Holiday: June 2019 - I'm So Dissatis-, Dissatis-, Dissatisfied

Year Three:  Southern League Premier Division
25 June 2019 to 23 June 2020
Pre-Season: July 2019 - Hope Springs Eternal
Season Begins: August 2019 - Tis But A Scratch
Late Summer: September 2019 - Weekends Weekends Safely State Ima Freakin' Dominate
Early Autumn: October 2019 - I’ve Got A Peaceful, Easy Feeling
Late Autumn: November 2019 - And So It Goes
Early Winter: December 2019 - Just Another Day At The Office
The New Year: January 2020 - Back In Black
Deep Winter: February 2020 - On The Road Again
Youth Intake Day 2020 - Reasons To Be Cheerful, Part 3
Early Spring: March 2020 - Bang Out Of Order
Mid-Spring: April 2020 - Take These Broken Wings
Late Spring: May 2020 - High On Emotion
Holiday: June 2020 - Taking Care Of Business

Year Four:  Conference National League South
24 June 2020 to ?24 June 2021?
Pre-Season: July 2020 - Goodbye Yellow Brick Road
Season Begins: August 2020 - We've Only Just Begun


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