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So begins another year. A year that in real life was the most challenging one the world had faced since World War II.
I think it’s time to bring back Le Sigh. I also need to find some shaking-head gifs.
On a more important front, I’m seeing a lot of players are stalling out. I’m not sure what’s going on. Maybe I’ll find the time to do a more thorough examination but not right now. My first theory is the whole thing about players needing to play in the leagues they are able to and most of our players are playing down to the competition.
We lost £31,464 last month. We need to have more home matches and win some cup matches that pay out.
Woohoo! Still “Untouchable” and still at 84%.
Last month, just prior to our match against Chesham on 17 December, Pilcher moved up from the “Others” group to the “Influential Players” group. Awesome. Just in time for him to leave us, I bet.
Kemar once again wins the English Premier League Young Player of the Month Award. Almost brings a tear to my eye.
I’m saving the best news for last. Alan Coates is now Premier League talent. I’d like to send him out on loan but he is only 3 months into his 16th year so it just seems...wrong? Maybe if anybody makes a transfer bid for him this month I’ll say, “No, but how about taking him on for a loan spell?” We’ll see if that works.
We didn’t get a loan report this month. Odd.
On the first of the year Pilcher signs his new contract. Much relief. Now hopefully someone swoops in with a million-pound offer.
Having that item checked off, I next offer Ashley Hibbert a new contract. He is at least Championship level so I’ll try to sign him for as long as possible. I find it peculiar that nobody is interested in him. Oh fuck me to tears. He wants £2,200. We’ll be in the Conference South next year and only two teams are forking out the kind of money. He wants like League Two money. Well, I’ll have him until 2021 and live with the fact that I have Tommy Watkins until 2023 as a fall-back. This prompts me to compare the two and I realize that Hibbert is only better than Watkins in Pace, Natural Fitness, and Stamina. What to do about this? We have Andy Robinson too. Hmmm…
I’ll move onto Connor Smith then. But then I have a thought. Just two months away from Youth Intake Day. I’ll wait until then for starters and U18 players. I’ll re-sign U23 players for now. I’ll start with our Angolan DR who still can’t mark players and doesn’t know where to position himself. He’s Professional and has a 15 Determination. If I can keep him around long enough I still believe he can be a great tutor for new youths. He doesn’t even ask for a pay raise but I offer one anyway. It’s only £20 more but he’ll get a loyalty bonus too. Oh! Just had a thought. What if he’s around when we get a Brazilian or Portuguese player who can’t speak of lick of English? He’ll be able to help.
In other news, I re-signed a physio who has a 20 in Physiotherapy. I’d like him to be the Head Physio but the guy already in that position is locked in until 2022.
What the heck does this mean?
I searched the database and the only Joker I could find was a semi-professional team in Estonia called Raasiku FC Joker. That didn’t sate my curiosity so I ran to the googles. It’s a special transfer in French football that allows a club to sign a player outside of the regular transfer window. Each club is allowed only one such transfer per season. The more you know.
Chick Legg signs his contract on the morning of the 3rd. This is a relief as now I know he’ll be around for two more years tutoring the youngsters.
I like this having two open contract negotiations at a time. With Legg’s done I now turn to Dean Rice, our second-choice DL. For now. He gets the same offer as Ferreira.
Our first match of the year sees us face a team we destroyed 9-1 back in August. It didn’t seem to affect them much as they are now 7th in the league, only 7 points behind the second automatic promotion spot. Let’s see if they can get their revenge!
vs. Leamington, 4 January 2020
Formation: 4-4-2 Diamond Standard (GK, DR, DC r, DC l, DL, DMC, MR, ML, AMC, ST r, ST l)
Starting XI: Legg, Johnstone, Pilcher, Smith, Rice, Roberts, Robinson, Leary, Harding, McLeish, Thirlwell
Subs: O’Keeffe, Parker, Nightingale, Ferguson, Watkins, Hibbert, Macey
It’s very standard Brixton fare today. Lots of rain, lots of missed goals, lots of free kicks off target, and four made goals. We were 10 of 24 for on-target shots. We had six free kicks within scoring distance and missed them all. We hit the posts four times. I guess I shouldn’t be kvetching when Thriller gets a hat trick.
POM: Marcus “Thriller” Thirlwell 9.6 (3 goals)
Nope, they didn’t get their revenge.
I got an email about Nightingale’s progress. Somehow, despite the tutoring from O’Shea ending, his Determination is still going up. Amazing.
Ferreira signs his new contact on 5 January and Rice signs his a day later.
On 7 January Stephen O’Shea moves up to the Influential Player group and this pleases me muchly.
Also on 7 January, League Two side Cheltenham offer £1,500 for Peter Maguire. About time somebody started making offers for my players. I accept it.
Our next opponent is Slough House and I hope to send these horses to the glue factory. They are 18th in the league so we shouldn’t have too many problems today.
vs. Slough, 8 January 2020
Formation: 4-4-2 Diamond Standard
Starting XI: Legg, Parker, Pilcher, O’Shea, Jefcoate, Coates, Hibbert, Pugh, Taylor, Macey, Rae
Subs: O’Keeffe, Johnstone, Collopy, Smith, Leary, Harding, Watkins
Well, they may be slow horses but they had just as many on-target shots as us though we have more off-target ones. With just one highlight in the first half that culminated in a sky ball from Macey I Assertively tell the squad I’m not pleased and send them back out with an Attacking mentality. Thankfully young phenom Bill Taylor saves our hide scoring before we’re 3 minutes in. And just another three go by when Hibbert’s early cross to Rae ends with a laser shot from his left foot. Just before the two-thirds mark we get our first penalty in what seems like forever; Macey sinks it.
Yet again though Chicken Legg gets FMed when one our defenders sends a pass to him only for it to go wide to an opponent and then into goal. He’s never gonna make his mortgage if he keeps getting denied clean sheets.
POM: Ashley Hibbert 8.4 (1 assist, 3 key passes)
I know I should be grateful that I have such a wonderful squad and managerial support but jeez, could I get the lads to not play down to the competition. Really reminds me of the real world Pittsburgh Steelers. Annoying AF.
Well I did not expect this news: Nightingale gets a transfer offer before Pilcher. I say no because he’s really been coming on of late.
The odds come in for our FA Cup match against Sheffield Wednesday. We are 4-1 odds to win. Seems generous with them being in the Championship and all.
The press conference is typical, trying to bait me into saying the wrong thing. I was really happy that the last question was about Connor Smith and how he’s been with me since the get-go. I praise his mentality and how impressed I am with his attitude.
Speaking of players that have been with me since the beginning, Peter Maguire agrees to move on to Cheltenham. We have a good exchange before he goes; I wish him well.
Well, let’s see if we can FM Wednesday. The lads do tend to play to the competition so hopefully they are up for it tonight.
at Sheffield Wednesday, 11 January 2020
Formation: 4-4-2 Diamond Standard
Starting XI: O’Keeffe, Johnstone, Pilcher, Nightingale, Rice, Coates, Watkins, Pugh, Taylor, Macey, McLeish
Subs: Legg, Parker, Smith, Harding, Thirlwell, Leary, Rae
I give them a “Win one for the Gipper” speech in the dressing room. Well, more of a “we’re underdogs, go cause an upset” speech.
It doesn’t appear to be working as Sheffield dominates possession. We have 2 shots to their 5 but nobody is on target. In the first 20 minutes of the second there are no action sequences, Macey and McLeish are stinking up the joint. Thriller and Rae to the rescue!
Finally in the 88th minute we get a free kick right next to their arc but Thriller’s shot goes high and wide. At 89:50 it’s Taylor, not Marcus or Alex who comes to the rescue, curling one just past the Wednesday goalkeep’s fingertips from 15 yards out. Sheffield Wednesday just got FMed.
POM: Bill Taylor 8.3 (1 goal, 2 key passes, 1 chance created)
Shocking. We had no business winning that. We only played well for about 20 seconds and managed to squeak one out. I can’t wait for the press conference after this one. /irony
There were 14,381 fans in attendance with 1,948 of ours making the trek. If only I could get that many at Brixton. We made just over £354k from the match too, which is also insane.
I think I got all the questions right in the presser. No, we won’t lift the FA Cup. Yes, we’ll take it one game at a time. Yes, Bill Taylor is awesome and I expect that to continue.
Now it’s time to find out who gets to destroy us in the next round of the FA Cup. Alright, let’s do this! We’re the fifth ball drawn so we get to host…all the megabastards are still in the pool but Man United…Birmingham or Chelsea. Insert jaw drop here. Chelsea are the closest big team to us, geographically speaking. I wish we got an away match to make more cash. Either way, we best lose this match else next year the board will expect more of me.
Next up is Harrogate. We beat them last year 7-2 in the FA Trophy Fourth Round, AND we beat them last year 4-0 in the FA Cup Third Qualifying Round. Why do we have to keep playing them? They must be sick of us and sick of having to travel to London.
I’m confident using the lesser players, even bringing up Glyn Davies again for a start at AMC. I hope he gets his act together.
vs. Harrogate, 14 January 2020
Formation: 4-4-2 Diamond Standard
Starting XI: Legg, Parker, Smith, Collopy, Jefcoate, Ferguson, Robinson, Leary, Davies, Macey, Rae
Subs: O’Keeffe, Johnstone, O’Shea, Roberts, Watkins, Harding, Thirlwell
What a bummer, a smaller crowd than we normally get in a league match, less than 1,300 fans. Macey has four chances in the first 10 minutes and absolutely does nothing with them. Is this a new trend? Is he in a slump? Evidently not but it takes until almost 65’ for Harrogate to get FMed when their right back is on the touchline and sends a glacial pass to their goalie only for Eddie to intercept it and amazingly score on a one-on-one.
And then my hubris and O’Shea’s suckiness rear their ugly heads. I didn’t switch us to Defensive as no highlights were happening and then he stood staring at a ball in midfield that Harrogate stole and got a breakaway. Legg let a 17-yard shot go right past him and with only 2 minutes to left in the match we are going up to Harrogate for a replay.
Nope! Extra time. Jefcoate and Davies are spent so I take them out. Davies was actually rating well at 7.4. But nothing happens at all in the first ET half, Macey comes off in the second ET half, and nothing happens in the period. On to penalties.
We go first. Thriller, in! Harrogate, in. O’Shea (yes, he’s our second-best option), DENIED! Harrogate, off the right post. Watkins, IN! Harrogate, DENIED! Harding, in. Harrogate, in. We can seal it here… C’mon, Liam Roberts! IT’S IN! IT’S IN! IT’S IN! God-damned players. Bring my acid reflux back...
My post-match speech isn’t about how disappointed I am but about complacency.
POM: Harrogate’s Thomas Newell 8.3 (1 goal, 2 key passes, 1 chance created)
I suppose I really have myself to blame but boy have we been kinda in a slump. I want to shake things up but more importantly I want to get Coates Natural at DMC and Taylor Natural at AMC.
We made £8,300 from the match putting us in the black for the year, a whole whopping £1,032. Yeah us!
Chelsea beat Birmingham so it looks like we’ll pack the stadium with 7,000 fans on 29 January. Huddersfield too is moving on when Kemar provided them one of two goals.
I was looking at the schedule and February is going to be absolutely brutal. Nine matches in 29 days. Woof.
Remember when I was worried about bringing in too many youths who were unambitious and had low determination? Well, seems I was needlessly fretting. Seventeen-year-old defensive midfielder Nathan Kingdon just saw his Determination go from 14 to 15 and his personality from Balanced to Fairly Determined. Bueno.
Now for the FA Trophy Seventh Round draw...we travel to Folkstone of the Isthmian Premier Division, a league equal to ours. Their eighth there so we shouldn’t have too much trouble.
Let us hope we can get our groove back.
at Brantham, 18 January 2020
Formation: 4-4-2 Diamond Standard
Starting XI: O’Keeffe, Johnstone, Pilcher, Nightingale, Rice, Coates, Hibbert, Pugh, Taylor, Thirlwell, McLeish
Subs: Legg, Parker, Collopy, Roberts, Leary, Harding, Macey
Are we facing an FMed opponent? Probably. After McLeish’s pass to Thirlwell goes to the wrong player, Brantham’s DR passes to their goalie who is walking towards the goal only to turn around in time to watch the ball go past him. This was 83 seconds in. Marcus and McLeish team up at 10’ for some good passing then a goal. I was hoping the duo would combine for another goal so I could refer to them as M&M but our third goal comes from a Hibbert cross to McLeish. So H&M. Hopefully this goal fashioned a victory. Too much?
Leary puts the match way beyond hope for Brantham in the 77th when he’s the lucky recipient of a Coates free kick, sending in a screamer to the upper right.
POM: Derek McLeish 9.2 (1 goal, 1 assist, 3 key passes, 2 chances created)
When are we gonna start putting the smack down on opponents again? We ain’t been the same since the match against Fleet.
A cup victory equals a cup draw the next day. But we get a two-fer! In the Southern League Cup we host Dartford, who have beat us in the past. For the FA Vase, please not Harrogate, please not Harrogate. Phew! We travel to Kettering in the Conference North. Dodged a bullet!
It’s 19 January and color me surprised that we haven’t had any other offers except for Maguire and Nightingale. It’s gotta be that we are very much below everyone’s radar still being this far down the pyramid.
Now I want to talk about players learning new positions. There are several factors that determine how quickly, if ever, he gets Natural. The hidden attribute Versatility, age, “closeness” to positions he’s already Natural at, level of knowledge already at the position (Awkward, Unconvincing, etc.), playing time, etc. Professionalism and Ambition might factor into it too. I bring this up because after a U23 match on Monday, 20 January, left wingback Steve Pike became Natural at left fullback. It took him 21 starts and 11 sub appearances, having started as Competent. (He had 8 non-competitive matches with AFC Telford before coming to us but I don’t know what he played there.) This tells me he likely has a high versatility. Because he’s constantly complaining about training and he came to us with an Unambitious personality (now F. Loyal) I believe I can safely say he has a lower Professionalism and Ambition.
I bring this up also because Alan Coates has yet to go to Natural at DMC; however, he started with knowing nothing about that position. His Resilient personality doesn’t tell me much about his Professionalism but it does say his Ambition should be average to awesome. However, his Media Handling Style is Evasive, which tells me his Professionalism is between 15 and 20. He has never moaned about his workload so I’m pretty confident he’s awesome and should be hitting a Natural state soon.
(Fudge, whilst looking at Coates’ player card I noticed his favorite club is Man U. I sure as hell hope they don’t make an offer for him.)
Now, let’s look at Bill Taylor who is really starting to worry me. He started Accomplished at AMC and is yet to go Natural after 24 starts and 2 sub appearances there. (And then when I checked the previous season I was reminded that he never played AMC there cuz I was training him at DMC. During the pre-season this year I abandoned DMC training cuz his Marking was 5, Tackling 7, and Position 6 and it was foolish training to use him defensively. Might as well be farting in the wind.) His personality is Resolute so his Professionalism is at least 15. So I’m not too concerned after all.
I’ll keep an eye on things but Coates and Taylor SHOULD be Natural by the end of the season.
Totton. We’ve beaten them thrice before. Their starting GK is an American name Alan Munoz from Independence, Missouri. “Misery” is what I like to call Missouri. I hope we send them home in misery.
I’m starting my first choices today so I can have them ready for Chelsea in a week.
vs. Totton, 22 January 2020
Formation: 4-4-2 Diamond Standard
Starting XI: O’Keeffe, Johnstone, Pilcher, Nightingale, Rice, Coates, Hibbert, Pugh, Taylor, Macey, McLeish
Subs: Legg, Parker, O’Shea, Jefcoate, Roberts, Leary, Rae
I’m back to winning the pre-match speech. We have conceded a lot of free kicks near our box lately but so far they’ve never scored off them. After two of them we finally get a chance down in their end with my Dream Duo of Taylor and Coates working together culminating in a great shot by Bill through loads of traffic; the goalie never saw it coming. Just before the first 45 come to a close Eddie Macey is way out in no man’s land and lofts in a prayer. I have no idea if that was a cross to McLeish or an honest attempt to score but it worked so I dance a jig. Well, it goes down as an own goal for GK Munoz. I guess he is from the Show Me state; show me how you are pulling for Brixton. :-D
They pull one back just a minute into the second and I am PISSED. Rice was to blame as he just watched the goalie’s long ball land at his feet and just stared at it. It’s Hibbert to the rescue! Just as we reach 70’ Coates sends a corner kick in to the small box only to have it headed out. Right to Hibbert, 26 yards out and he sends in a beauty to the upper right corner beyond the keep’s reach. Oh my. It was a phenomenal half volley. Hibbert seals his man-of-the-match with a simple cross to Rae who rises above and gives us a fourth. But now the hero status switches to Rae when he gets a slight deflection off a weak Liam Roberts effort.
And the game ends with me being wrong. I know! Shock and surprise! It’s Hibbert who edges out Rae for the POM award. Rae “only” had 2 goals.
POM: Ashley Hibbert 9.1 (1 goal, 1 assist, 1 key pass, 1 chance created)
Well I guess that speech wasn’t as good as I thought. And man, has Macey been super streaky of late.
Nightingale comes asking for a new contract. Normally I’d ask Macey to talk him off the ledge but Mitchell has been fantastic for us and he’s from our academy. I’m sure Pilcher will be gone soon via transfer or loan so I tell him I’ll give him a new one at the end of the season. He leaves my office pleased.
The same day League Two side Mansfield puts £3,000 on my desk and ask to leave with Barlow. I accept and hope he takes the hint. It doesn’t hurt that he’s making £500 per week right now.
By the end of the day O’Shea hurts himself in training. He’s digging his own grave even though it’s a minor injury, out 3 days at the most.
I’m doing something odd for this match. All the people who will be important to our match against Chelsea will get the day off. That means that a lot of my bench today will be from the U23s or U18s. And I’ll have the bench filled. No real reason for that, just want to get some debuts out of the way if possible.
vs. Bishop’s Stortford, 25 January 2020
Formation: 4-4-2 Diamond Standard
Starting XI: Legg, Parker, Smith, Collopy, Jefcoate, Roberts, Watkins, Leary, Harding, Thirlwell, Rae
Subs: O’Keeffe, Ferreira, Parker, Murphy, Pike, Ferguson, Robinson, Barnett, Davies, Marshall, Flynn
It takes a while but the Rae-Thirlwell combo works as designed. Not on the design board though was a groin strain for Tommy Watkins just a few minutes later. Rats. There have been a lot of free kicks near the goal this month, for both sides. Harding gets an opportunity for one but the ensuing scrum sees Leary getting fouled and Thirlwell getting his brace. Late in the match Thirlwell almost gets his trick but the GK’s Reflexes overmatch his Composure.
POM: Marcus Thirlwell 8.6 (2 goals, 1 key pass, 1 chance created)
So the media describe our win over the Bishops as a hammering. I used to see this all the time in FM2014. Two-nil is not a hammering.
How bad is the news for Watkins? Oh damn. Four to six weeks. Fudge. Poor guy.
How good is the news for our bottom line? Oh good. We made £13,173.
The day after the match I notice that Watkins’ initial assessment was wrong and now he is expected to be out on 2 to 4 weeks. That’s some weird physio shenanigans.
The scouting report for Chelsea is ridiculous. Ever player is 5 stars in ability and potential except their backup goalie who is only 3 and 3. There is no way in hell we’ll win this. Another observation is they only have one English player in their seniors. Pathetic. I will never let that happen to Brixton. There arent’ any players from the rest of Britain or even an Irishman.
For a match as big as our one against Chelsea there has to be a press conference. But it was just about how far we can go (not any further) and if our result against Bishop’s Stortford will make our job easier (no it won’t).
Well, here it is fans, our first defeat in a long while. Also, again I’m going with a full bench just because I want the kiddos to get the experience of playing an EPL club. I left Stephen O’Shea out as he’s just not reliable at all.
vs. Chelsea, 29 January 2020
Formation: 4-4-2 Diamond Standard
Starting XI: O’Keeffe, Johnstone, Pilcher, Nightingale, Rice, Coates, Hibbert, Pugh, Taylor, Macey, McLeish
Subs: Legg, Parker, Collopy, Smith, Jefcoate, Ferguson, Robinson, Leary, Harding, Thirlwell, Rae, Roberts
I manage to inspire O’Keeffe, Rice, and Pugh. Let’s hope that portends greater things.
In the tunnel I’m asked why I sprung some surprises on my team selection. I don’t have an option to say these are my preferred eleven so I say they are the ones who give us the best chance.
They almost draw first blood just after 5’ but the shot goes off the crossbar. We get a free kick right outside the 18 but Coates sends it just over the bar. Just before 42’ Rice can’t prevent a cross that makes it to the far post where their Ivorian winger sends a shot right at O’Keeffe but then it bounces right into the goal. Great position, bad hands.
We go into the half down one and our attacking three are not doing anything well, only on target with one of seven shots and all rating 6.3 or 6.4.
We get another free kick early in the second half but Taylor this time is the one who is high. Meanwhile, O’Keeffe is losing his shit so I have to give him a Shout. Just before 62’ Macey is free with only their “sub-par” goalie to beat but sends it wide. He’s down to a 5.9 now.
So off come the underperformers, notably the three attackers. I also switch to attacking. But in the 81st minute things go from bad to worse as Harding goes down with a foot injury. Three minutes later, Rae, with just an “Okay” happiness, has the cross of his life, dubbed so as it finds Thriller at the far post and we do the impossible, tying the match up.
I go into lock-down mode immediately. Yes, I’m playing for a tie. Yes, I’m dreaming of a big payday. No, I’m not happy there’s 6 minutes of extra time. No, I’m not happy to see an action sequence start at exactly 90:00 with Chelsea having the ball in their end. I just know they are going to march forward and shatter O’Keeffe’s spirit once again. His body language right now is “Looking Self-Assured”.
I fucking knew it! They launched the ball forward and again, a defender gets the ball stopped at the back line but his momentum carries him forward, along with his lack of concentration, leaving the ball ripe for the picking. And the cross is perfect and we’re down a goal again. My switching to Overload and moving just about everyone forward of course results in a successful counter-attack and the final doesn’t really match our efforts.
I tell them for being underdogs we actually showed well and we should be proud. Most players think that’s fair, most importantly O’Keeffe who was the unfortunate victim of circumstances.
POM: Chelsea’s Victor Rangel 8.1 (1 goal, 1 key pass, 1 chance created)
We had a full house of 7,000 fans of which 350 were from Chelsea, having made the trek south of the River Thames. That brought in £72,946 for us.
Gareth ended with a 6.8 despite the 3 goals but Macey ended with a 5.9. He will get a fine. He accepts it but the email relaying the information said he had performed poorly in our 5-1 victory over Totton. Uh-oh. Is the save file corrupted? This bears watching. (Granted, he got a 6.4 in that match but that was a week ago. Strange.)
Noah Harding’s injury is pulled ankle ligaments, out 12 to 14 days. The Lower Leg Injury Bug is creeping nearer to Brockwell Park again.
On 31 January Terry Barlow signs with Mansfield. Good luck, young man! Light up League Two!
The fix is in. No less than three matches were gifted to us by the match engine. Our loss was from an FMing. Seems for every match that either we or our opponent were hosed over by SI’s scripting. And what’s with all the non-scoring free kicks this month?
Despite all my belly aching, it was a successful month though. All the expected victories and all the expected money. We end the month in the black, £46,824 for the season to be exact.
It’s a bit surprising that during the transfer window Pilcher, Hibbert, nor Taylor received offers. Maybe in July?
It took me a while to notice this, and it’s still holding true, but Worcester has yet to have a draw. Weird thing that.
[Ed. Note: I don’t actually like AC/DC. Matter a fact, I don’t like a number of bands or movies or songs I’ve quoted. Sometimes things just fit.]
Two years ago I was very much worried about losing money. In 2017 we lost over £1 million. I feared that we were headed for losses of £2.5 million per year. Since then we’ve only lost another £540,750. We are on the upward trend though, having made just under £47,000 this month. Certainly the deep FA Cup runs have helped but so have our increased ticket prices and averaging of 1,657 fans per league match.
I also worried back then that we wouldn’t bring in enough money once we reached the Conference South. We are on the verge of making it there. I’m sure we’ll be making more money from matches then and I imagine we’ll sell some players before that season starts.
In other words, we’ll be alright.