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We have two more matches before our season is over. A league one and the FA Vase Final versus Hungerford. After those are done I’ll be neck-deep in figuring out the roster, meaning who to elevate from the U18s, who to sell on from the Seniors, and giving out new contracts, both players and staff.
Let’s take care of those matches before I do the normal beginning of the month thing.
Here we’ll see the youth of tomorrow. I have Kemar in there because if he can manage a hat trick he’ll lead the league in goals and then should get a POM award, pulling into the league lead too.
It’s a beautiful day in South London with the temperature at 17° Celsius, 63° Fahrenheit, with high clouds. The stadium is nearly half full with 3,415 tickets sold. Did the fans come to watch an undefeated season or the new kids on the block?
vs. Mangotsfield, 1 June 2019
Formation: Spade (GK, DR, DC r, DC l, DL, MC r, MC l, AMR, AMC, AML, ST c)
Starting XI: Gareth O’Keefe, Tom Johnstone, Shane Pilcher, Mitchell Nightingale, Dean Rice, Bill Taylor, Alan Coates, Tommy Watkins, Mark Nixon, Meilir Pugh, Kemar Kirkpatrick
Subs: Adrian Lee, Angelino Ferreira, Kevin Jenkins, Tasos Noulas, Paul Taylor, Marcus Thirlwell, Ashley Hibbert
I promised myself I would only Praise and Encourage the team today. I get that opportunity right after 8’ when Nixon’s long range shot gets deflected by the GK right to Kemar’s left foot. Brixton up, 1-0. Four minutes later Maggotsfield get a corner and Bill Taylor “shoved” an opponent in the back. Dammit! I wanted O’Keefe to get a clean sheet on his debut! HOLY SHEET! He blocked it!!!
I guess one good turn deserves another, and the refs are still my friends, so we get a penalty call after 21’. Kemar steps up… And bounces it in off the underside of the crossbar! Brixton up, 2-0! By the way, the guy who committed the penalty was the one who got stonewalled by O’Keefe.
We go into the half feeling good. Except Pugh. He missed an absolute sitter and is rating at 6.3. I tell the lads they were great, singling out our awesome goalie and giving Pugh a little “I have faith in you” pep-talk.
Oh my! Five minutes into the second Rice sends in a prayer of a cross and Kemar is somehow able to head it in from an impossible angle at the far post. We shift to the Diamond at 55’ so I bring off Mr. Hat-Trick Guy, Pilcher, and Nixon for Paul Taylor, Ashley Hibbert, and Kevin Jenkins. And thus ends the match and league play.
POM: Kemar Kirkpatrick (3 goals, 1 key pass, 1 chance created)
What a wonderful season! We are stocked with great young players and I’m feeling fine. I’d like to point out that our Regista/Ball Winning Midfielder/Deep Lying Playmaker Alan Coates performed a 9.0 match, nabbing 3 key passes and 3 chances created. He’s gonna be amazing.
The scouting report for Hungerford gives me great hope. On paper they are not better than us. And just like another team who should not be mentioned, their best players are in on loan. Later on I learn we are 4-7 odds to win.
The FA Vase pre-match press conference is really short. “Does winning this before make your job easier or harder.” Neither. “Your U23 manager might leave to go to some po-dunk club nobody has ever heard of, not even their owner’s own mother. Should he go?” Next question.
Here it is, lads! Final match of the season, some more beautiful hardware up for grabs, chance to end the season on the highest of notes!
I’m gonna take advantage of all 12 sub slots just to give as many players a chance to get in on the good stuff before they ride off into the sunset, for the summer.
Over 6,100 fans have shown up at Wembley on a hot London day (82° F!) with no breeze to cool things down. Let us watch the hot action of the Hunger game!
vs. Hungerford, 4 June 2019
Formation: Spade
Starting XI: Webb, Pilcher, Spearing, Carroll, Al-Ziod, Cullen, Barlow, Thirlwell, Nixon, Duckett, Kirkpatrick
Subs: Legg, Parker, Maguire, Day, Jefcoate, Harding, Smith, Hodgson, Paul Taylor, Jones, Macey, Rae
My speech barely registers with the squad with only Cullen and Duckett motivated. In the tunnel I’m forced to lie about this being Legg and Day’s last match. Legg will be around. Day, no.
After 14’ of nothing I prepare to Shout “Get creative!” when a highlight begins. After some sloppy passing, Nixon is able to thread the eye of the needle, passing to Kemar for our opening salvo. Brixton up, 1-0. I do get by with a little help from my refs. Cullen sends in a free kick and Duckett gets shoved to the ground. Thriller makes it Brixton up, 2-0. Not two minutes later one of their guys mugs Duckett on the sideline and gets a straight red. Again, I evidently am related to the refs. Jesus. At 55’ a Hungryman picks up his second yellow. I wonder how much I’m paying them?
At 60’ I swap EVERYONE. In the 72nd we get another penalty from another free kick. This is embarrassing. Harding makes it Brixton, 3-0. They do get four shots on goal and manage to miss them all from close range. Then the match ends.
Very unsatisfying. Of the 22 players to get time, only three had a 7.0 or higher rating. Two goals off penalties. Two opponents sent off. We should have dominated them even if I kept the Control Mentality for the whole match. I mean, look at the POM and what he accomplished.
POM: Teddy Cullen (7.2, 2 key passes, 1 chance created)
I can’t even feign interest in the post-match presser, giving the most blasé answers possible. The players don’t seem to notice as their Morale is Perfect to a man.
Nonetheless, it was a tremendously successful season. Really hard to be mad when you’ve run the table. All while allowing less than half a goal per match and scoring almost 4 goals. I doubt (and hope) we don’t have such an easy time next season.
Now onto the beginning of the month stuff and the off-season.
According to my AssMan, five players had Impressive Performances on the training front for the season. Sadly Carroll won’t be around next year. Nixon might go too. Clubs are hella interested in a lot of my youths.
We made just a smidge over £11,000 in May, not too bad considering our general trend. For the season, we made £650,000.
We get a new kit sponsor. We’re now advertising for someone to the tune of £11,000 per annum. I guess it’s better than a kick to the shins but still not a lot of money.
I am Untouchable at 100% confidence. Damn, I’m good!
After the lads go on holiday the Board asked for a meeting to discuss “improving our youth level.” They want to gauge my opinion on whether to strive to achieve a higher grade for the academy setup. Damn skippy, I do!
Again, nothing new to report. For now...
By the beginning of June, Jordan Nickson has already become Competent at DR. Methinks he has a high Versatility. Thirlwell did not advance at all in his Determination after the tutoring by Macey ended.
Five players get a call up for some summer action. Al-Ziod for Jordan, Kemar and Robert Carrol for England U19s, Simon McAdam for Northern Ireland U19s, and Noah Harding for Wales U19s. A couple days later Gareth O’Keefe is summoned by Ireland for the U21s, which is insane as he won’t turn 17 for another six months! Mark Nixon also will play for Ireland but for the U19s.
Shadi’s first game with the Jordanian seniors see him getting a goal and a 7.4 rating. Too bad he won’t be with us much longer.
Gary Ferguson gets a call-up for the Euro U19 Championship representing Scotland. Good on, ya!
Twelve player contracts are up for renewal with four of them having contract extension available to me. I trigger Chick Legg, Marcus Thirlwell, Liam Roberts, and Gary Ferguson. I already know the six MCs I’m gonna rock with next year so Ferguson was only kept to be a U23 body. Chris Day, Robbie Jones, and Scott Thompson won’t be offered new contracts. Andy Hodgson and Shadi Al-Ziod have triggers but I plan on selling them off. I need to offer new contracts to Noah Harding, Derek McLeish, and Ryan Collopy.
On the staff side of matters, one of the scouts is up but he’s pitiful so I’ll let him walk. I want to renew a Physio, the U18 AssMan, and my only U18 Coach. The U18 Physio is only rated at 13 in that skill so his best hope is I can’t find someone better.
I need a new Vice Captain. I want that next one to also be a mentor. Because we are for sure going to lose Spearing and Carroll I want a central defender, preferably left-footed. It takes a while to find one who meets my needs and wants to come to Brixton. It’s going to cost us a pretty penny. Well, 80,000 pounds to be exact. He comes to us from a team in Ireland’s First Division, which is the second level of the Irish pyramid. He surprisingly doesn’t ask for a high wage despite his high price. You’re probably asking yourself if I paid too much. I did. There just aren’t a lot of left-footed DCs who can mentor and want to come down this far in the English pyramid.
He has an interesting spread of abilities. Not particularly great on things germane to a centreback but really good in a lot of other places. I might try to get his MC up to Accomplished but I’ll leave DMC as is.
I decide to do a little scouting myself. I decide to see if there are any cheap, young talented lads out there. I set the search parameters to this:
Only 10 players fit the bill and I have my scouts report on them all. I eventually learn none of them want to come to Brixton.
After having put a lot of players on the Transfer List only Spearing and Carroll were drawing much interest. A lot of interest. Scottish Premiership side St. Johnstone swooped in late for Carroll and he signs with them on 16 June.
I transfer listed Al-Ziod, even though he was under a month left with us, and he signed a pre-contract with Aston Villa on 16 June. Good luck, Prince! (Villa is 5th in the Championship.)
On 14 June Ipswich came in with an offer for Mark Nixon but as it was only £2,800 I denied it. He immediately pitched a fit and I had to remind him he was still on contract. He didn’t like that I upped his asking price to £10,000. Over the rest of the month Barnsley would pop in every couple days with the same offer as Ipswich. Sigh. How droll.
Oh damn. I knew Kemar was going to draw interest. I didn’t think Arsenal would be the first to put in an honest-to-god offer. On the day before his 17th birthday they arrive with a very low-ball bid so I have to upgrade it, knowing that he’ll get pissed like Nixon. I ask for £1 million, 40% sell-on fee, and £10 million buy-back clause. They repeat their first offer and I end negotiations. There must be a glitch in the matrix because Kemar didn’t come asking for anything. I forgot to mention this earlier: For the season he had 62 goals across all matches. Amazing.
An offer even came in for Nightingale. It’s from Hereford and only £2,000. He’s in my plans for a while yet so I say no. Tuesday, 18 June I get an email about who’s going up to and down to the English Regional Premier Divisions. Hereford, the team pursuing Nightingale are one of the teams coming down. Why would Mitchell want to go there? I have no fears of losing him.
Spearing is moving on to Exeter, a League One side, for the lowly fee of £5,000.
Duckett agrees to a move to Swindon for £10,000 in League One.
I need to replace one scout as his contract is almost over. I opened the Staff Search tool and narrowed it down to Scout and immediately noticed this guy.
Pablo Nickerson is a Model Professional American, has good judging abilities, and has a maximum Determination and Adaptability. He’d be an ideal Chief Scout. However, he only wants to be Director of Football. I do have an opening there and will need one soon when I start trying to off-load some players. I offer £350 per week, two years, and a 10% promotion wage raise. He joins us on 3 June.
Also, the board, without telling me, seriously upped the number of staff I can have. I can have 3 more U18 coaches, 4 more U23 coaches, and 3 more scouts. Oh yeah!
On the other side of the coin, some of my staff might be leaving as journalists keep asking about the interest they are drawing. Notably my U23s Manager, Mick Hunter, has been linked to Maldon & Tiptree. They are no Brixton, don’t know why he’d want to go there. They are at the level we are currently at but in a few weeks the official promotion up will happen and we’ll be above them. On 11 June he departs for Chesham, a similar team to M&T.
I offer my U18 manager, Reggie Jeffries, a new contract to replace Mick. I found a good candidate to be our new U18 manager but he has no desire to be the U23 manager, hence my elevation of Jeffries.
The board allows me to have three more U18 coaches and four U23 coaches. I eventually manage to find some that aren’t complete shit. Quite a few of them are European, which is pretty cool because I’ll get their scouting knowledge. Not that it matters yet, we can still only scout UK and Ireland. They hail from Austria, Belgium, Faeroe Islands, Netherlands, Slovakia, and of course England.
For the EPL fans in the house, here are the ranking in this AU:
1. Man United
2. Liverpool
3. Arsenal
4. Man City
5. Chelsea
6. Tottenham
7. West Ham
8. Leicester
9. Southampton
10. Stoke
We are now 348th, a mighty big jump from 694th last year.
Tuesday, 25 June we advance to the new season. One of the items that I have to immediately address is the board wants to meet to make available more money for my AssMan’s wages. Odd.
The Brexit news comes in and like I said some years back, nothing will change in the world of association football.
Welcome to a new segment, one in which I re-examine something I once said and we’ll see if I was wrong or right.
Let’s go back to my very first update when I introduced the team to the world. This is what I had to say about our only right midfielder Steve Pearson:
“He’s not that good except his speed and Teamwork.”
He stayed with us for a season and a quarter or so and in that time he made 46 appearances, scoring 17 goals, making 19 assists, and winning 5 Player of the Match awards, for an average rating of 7.76.
I was wrong. He was good.
And we made £20,000 when we sold him on to Brentford, in the Championship.
The start of the season is upon us! The lads report on 1 July and we are going to see a lot of squad turnover but I still predict a promotion.