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Lucky us! Only five matches this month! We have three league matches left plus two cup ties. If we win those cup rounds then we'll have two more games but they should be in late May, as they were last year. They were also three days apart and I don't relish that. We have ten days off between the first and second matches and eleven days off between the fourth and fifth matches. I'll arrange a friendly for the second gap but I think we'll just rest during the first gap.
Ben Evans, you champion. Mark Curran had a green arrow for his Strength but better yet, his Determination and Work Rate had numerical improvements; Work Rate went up two whole points, which I'm sure was a result of his getting a fine after the AFC Fylde match. Wowza! David Caffrey's improvements are all over the place! So many green arrows plus actual gains in Passing, Penalty Taking, Decisions, Determination, Agility, and Strength. Spicy!
I never get used to seeing our financial losses. Last month it was to the tune of £251,636. After taxes, player wages and staff wages are the next highest categories, with the first coming in at £119,210 and the second at £70,233. The next highest if Match Day Expenses, at £39,570 but that gets countered by Match Day Income, at £76,114.
A little bit of a bounce-back; up to 93% from 91%. Why do I quibble about these numbers? The footballing world already knows I'm awesome. (Ixnay on the ugardaddysay. Shhh!)
I win another Coach of the Month award. #Expected.
Hmmm… I can only guarantee that one of these chumps will be here next year. Rae is for sure gone and McLeish is most likely gone. Macey, Legg, and Lemon will only be around to tutor unless the are too expensive to keep or get poached.
I've extended this concept with another 4-week Trial Contract. :-D
GK Kris Newton had no green arrows this month. I kind of expected him to hit a wall soon so this comes as no surprise seeing as he is 18 now. Another 18 year-old who is doing quite well is Ethan Foster, a right fullback. Despite turning 18 in November he thrives in the U18. Everything in Technical and Physical attributes had green arrows as well as all but five in Mentals. He gets a Morale boost when I praise him.
Remember Jethro Swain? The newest kid on the block? My AssMan has upgraded his Potential Ability to 4.0. Excellent.
DR Jordan Nickson not only had a gain in his Determination last month, this month he saw increases in Vision and Work Rate plus lots of green arrows in about half his attributes.
DL Dean Rice is still in recovery phase and his Bravery has now got up to 11.8.
Mark "Flitty Flit" Flitcroft finally has gotten the message and puts in a good month of training.
Stephen McGregor finally gets his Pace up to 13 and sees gains in Agility and Strength.
If you remember last month I mentioned how John Burns hasn't been improving in Heading? Well, I scaled back his training, stopping his Additional Focus and teaching him how to be a Advanced Midfielder, a position my AssMan tells me Burns can learn. I also set his Intensity Level to Average. And he still complains there's just too much to do. What's the solution? Tutoring by Macey! Let us see how it goes. Thankfully they agree. If he sees slow gains I might just extend Macey. I might extend The Beast anyway because he's good enough, he's smart enough, and doggone it, people like him. (For Realz, his Coach Report reads, "The fans have a great affinity towards this player.")
Mickey Morris, you are no longer in the dog house. He's finally improving in Passing and his Vision went from 7 to 8. Oddly, he is no longer rated 5.0 in Potential Ability. It dropped to 4.0, which is what his Current Ability is. I don't believe this. It makes no sense. Also, I noticed that he now considers himself English. He should stay Welsh as he'll have a better chance of getting into international matches. Oh! And that 23-yard goal he had against Whitehawk? Good enough to get him the Goal of the Month!
I spent a lot of time on the 1st assessing the roster to see who to give new contracts and who to mark for release come 30 June. Despite being seriously out of favor I decided to keep Stephen Lemon around as he can play so many positions and can be a mentor. Then I learn the same day that a team in League One facing relegation, Swindon Town, is eyeing him. The media want to know my take on the matter so I tell them that I'll be talking to the Swindon manager soon. I wonder what this is all about as we are out of a transfer window.
So one of the decisions that came out of the roster assessment is Flitcroft needs a new contract. He's an absolute steal right now on £300 per week. While I think the new arrival Shaquille Bailey is The Answer, he's not ready right now and might not be next year. Let us see his demands. Only £525 a week?! Poppycock! I offer £600 with some modest clause and bonuses and he and his agent seem satisfied but need some time to make up their minds.
Scout Ronnie Hughes signs his contract right before the Harrogate match. How about our other English scout? He's a beast a judging players but he's kind of lazy and doesn't adjust to life in foreign countries. He's gonna need a little time to mull things over.
We need to win this. We will win this. They are one of the few teams to hold us to a tie but we've beat them thrice. Time to add a fourth.
vs. Harrogate, 2 April 2022
Formation: Arrow (GK, DR, DC r, DC l, DL, DMC (Regista), MC c (BBM), AMR, AML, ST r (DLF), ST l (AF))
Starting XI: Lee, Lawford, Evans, Barnes, Curran, Ferguson, O'Reilly, Dryden, Leary, Macey, McLeish
Subs: Legg, Nickson, Ferreira, Collopy, Rice, Caffrey, Lemon, Smith, McGregor, Marshall, Rae
They boss us around the pitch for the first 32 minutes and I'm absolutely stunned trying to figure out why. We get the first corner of the match and Dryden lifts it high to Barnes at the far post but instead of heading towards the goal, he chests it behind and to his left for O'Reilly. Ben sends the ball to his side to get the ball to Macey. Eddie side-foots it out of the air with a little jump and the ball goes right to the goalies hands. Harrogate's goalie must have granite hands because the ball bounces off them into the back of the net. Just another day in the office... O'Reilly should just keep to passing as his shots are off target today. I calmly tell the players I'm not happy with their effort and that gets all of them fired-up. We start the second half strong but Macey hits the woodworks. A few minutes later he finds himself out of position and sends in an early cross to McLeish, who somehow managed to gather the ball in whilst surrounded by three defenders. This leaves Chris Dryden alone thereby enabling him a clean shot on goal that goes in. Then we learn what O'Reilly can do. With a free kick just outside the box he sends it high and left, securing our three-goal lead. Heck yeah! At 67' I go to the Diamond Control and bring off Evans, Leary, and Macey so Ferreira, Lemon, and Marshall can get some match fitness going. And that's all she wrote!
POM: Ben O'Reilly 9.0 (1 goal, 1 assist, 3 key passes, 1 chance created)
I actually had trepidation about starting O'Reilly. Ye of little faith.
We are on to the Final for the Conference League Cup and we get to face Weymouth, which I am happy about because I didn't want to play Billericay yet again. The final is at Wembley so we should earn some money from that. The match will take place on 22 May, a Saturday.
Oh poop. Caffrey wants a private meeting after the match. Ah. He wants more money. He's on £750 per week through 2023. He does deserve a raise but how much would he want.
Those soon-to-be-released youth players I lusted after last month? The reports come in but most of them have severe deficiencies. I do find one left-footed AMC who is Ambitious and Determined. I'll add Jordan Wainwright to my shortlist and hopefully I can swoop in on 1 June and sign him. I also add Marco Carter, a tall fellow who can play all positions along the back line. And Chris James, a centreback who can also play DMC and MC.
The U18s had a match on Monday, 4 April, hosting the Leyton Orient youths. We won but what brings my attention is that we drew 471 spectators. I wonder what will be normal once we reach the Premier League.
Scout Ron Bunce agrees to stay with us until 2024. So time to extend another scout. This time it's our guy from Luxembourg who happens to have a 19 Adaptability. I can't wait until we get to scout outside the UK & Ireland.
Mark Flitcroft must be a night owl as he signs his new contract at 0000, 10 April. Weirdo. I think it's time to get another player paid and locked up. I choose Chris Dryden. He want's £375 per week and I'm thinking more along the lines of £500 plus some more if he gets into 5 international matches. He agrees immediately. Did I overpay? Yes. Does that bother me. No.
I scheduled a U23 friendly because they weren't getting much work. I decide for an away match against a team with a "Very High Reputation." I don't know why the game didn't tell me the match is overseas. We are sending them to a Belgian amateur team called Bredene. Huh.
My AssMan assess that George Bunn is a League One-quality suspect. I think he might be a little better. If I'm right, he should see some action with the Seniors in a couple of years. If I'm wrong, he'll just make it to the U23s. I hope I'm right!
Kidderminster like to use a 4-2-3-1 formation and their sole striker has 25 goals this year to go along with his 20 Determination. Hmmm...how to corral him...
vs. Kidderminster, 12 April 2022
Formation: Arrow (GK, DR, DC r, DC l, DL, DMC (Regista), MC c (BBM), AMR, AML, ST r (DLF), ST l (AF))
Starting XI: Lee, Nickson, Evans, Collopy, Curran, Caffrey, Lemon, Smith, McGregor, Morris, Burns
Subs: Ferreira, Rice, Noulas, Leary, Marshall
Egads! Our first three shots are off target, their first three are on target, and we keep giving up corner kicks. Patience is a virtue though and Lemon and Mickey practice that, resulting in a goal just after 20'. What a relief! Curran had bruised his ankle before that but I don't bring him off until the half. But before that the Kidders get yet another corner and their left DMC has the most dangerous of opportunities but with Nickson defending our right post he boots it out of our half. In the second half Collopy and Evans are taking turns playing poorly and being Complacent. Collopy responds to my exhortations but the greatest effect is upon Collopy along with Morris and Burns. Rory launches from our arc to Morris about halfway into Kidderminster territory. He dribbles up the middle, drawing the defense towards him and leaving Burns free to get his first goal of the day. It's time for Evans and Lemon (yellow card) to come off for Ferreira and Noulas. At 73' McGregor almost gets a goal but the goalkeeper makes a last-second desperation save and the ball is cleared. Just a few minutes later though Smith is able to deliver a better set up and McG heads this one in with ease.
POM: Peter Smith 9.0 (1 assist, 4 key passes, 4 chances created)
I did not expect Smith to get POM with Morris having an assist and a goal. I also didn't expect us to be accurate on 7 of 17 shots or they'd have 10 corners.
I also didn't expect Burns' agent to show up demanding a new contract. You've been here six months, dude! Shove off. This of course irks him so I explain he has too much time left so he won't be getting a new contract. He understands and sulks away.
I did another projection of my Roster Management spreadsheet and realized I needed a second left winger for the U18s. There are exactly zero players who fit the bill and want to come to Brixton. Except Charley Cousins from our YID who's Trial contract expires in 4 days. He gets the standard Youngster offer.
Another player wants a new contract. This time it's someone I expected and really do need to improve the life of. Pat Lawford. He's gonna be costly so I'm hoping he'll let me stall until after the season is over. He accepts that train of thought. I've got so many promises going that I'm afraid too look at the real number.
Guiseley have the second best scorer in the league, a chap on loan from Sheffield United. It's a long road trip for us as they are way up north, 180 miles away. Their stadium is named Nethermoor. It reminds me of the Queen song "Nevermore". It's pretty, you should check it out sometime. As is typical for northern England, it is breezy and drizzly. Lovely.
at Guiseley, 15 April 2022
Formation: Arrow (GK, DR, DC r, DC l, DL, DMC (Regista), MC c (BBM), AMR, AML, ST r (DLF), ST l (AF))
Starting XI: Lee, Lawford, Ferreira, Barnes, Rice, Parker, Flitcroft, Dryden, Leary, Macey, Marshall
Subs: Evans, Curran, Noulas, Lemon, Rae
It doesn't take long for Guiseley to make their first mistake, at 2:35. Their right fullback heads back to their goalie, a long way away. Plenty of time for Eddie to pounce and put us ahead early. So Lawford, he who covets a new contract, is looking Uninterested. The rest of the team isn't much better but moods are lifted by a Mark Marshall goal that came about after a crazy bit of melee in the six-yard box that I can't quite follow. Oh well, we are up two in the 37th. Lawford gets singled out during the break. Does it work? No. Leary joins his ranks and the both get yanked at 68', along with Marshall, who comes off so Rae can get some time.
POM: Mark Marshall 8.3 (1 goal, 4 key passes, 1 chance created)
A two-goal victory was not what the doctor ordered but what do you expect when accurate on only 3 of 11 shots. I told the crew we were poor and were lucky to get a victory. That went over not very well with the lazy duo getting demotivated. When I address them individually the get even more despondent. Ingrates.
Interesting...two managers were in the crowd to see Jose Parker. From Preston (Championship) and Cardiff (also Championship).
Why isn't Cousins signing his contract? Does he think something better will come along?
The shortlist of Conference National Player of the Year comes out and the front runners are McGregor and Morris. Really? McGregor? Smith should be ahead of him. And Burns should be in the mix. I can't vote for my own players so I vote for Dajon Clarke, a left winger from Sutton who has 17 goals, 5 assists, and an average rating of 7.25. The only others I could have voted for are on loan from Championship teams so it doesn't feel deserved. Shut your mouth about my Sugar Daddy! :-D
So the Trialists leave on Sunday morning, 17 April. That includes Cousins. Fool.
The Team of the Week email comes in and it has a weird twist. We have Lee in goal, no surprise; Collopy at right centreback, that checks out; and Peter Smith at...right striker. Did not expect that. So strange.
Barnet, an old opponent stands in our way for another trip to Wembley. We've beat them twice but they are fifth in our league so this is no guarantee.
at Barnet, 19 April 2022
Formation: Arrow (GK, DR, DC r, DC l, DL, DMC (Regista), MC c (BBM), AMR, AML, ST r (DLF), ST l (AF))
Starting XI: Lee, Lawford, Evans, Barnes, Curran, Caffrey, O'Reilly, Smith, McGregor, Morris, Burns
Subs: Legg, Nickson, Ferreira, Collopy, Rice, Ferguson, Lemon, Dryden, Leary, Marshall, Rae, Flitcroft
It's the second time this year we give up a goal in the first 17 seconds. Dammit. But we have Burns and Morris and they cannot be stopped when focused, as they are about 15 minutes later. It takes another 5 minutes to get our second with Burns assisting Morris at the left post, of all places. His shot was at such an impossibly narrow angle that I couldn't believe it at first. M-I-C-K-E-Y gets a second 7 (YES! SEVEN!) seconds after the restart, stealing the ball when the left centreback fails his 1st Touch roll and the ball bounces right to Morris. Hot damn! The dude even jumps up so Morris can blast past him!
These crazy antics are immediately followed by a Barnes yellow card. Ninety-one seconds of injury time in the first half is what it takes for Morris to get his hat trick. Time to relax. And then I relax more when Burns gets a second 18 seconds into the second half. Second. This match is bonkers. I really want Burns to have that hat trick too but let's not tempt fate. So I do a full outfield swap at 65'. I didn't really expect much but a mighty Lemon drop at 83:11 really buries Barnet. The mood is dampened a few minutes later when Dryden picks up a bruised knee. Let us hope it's much ado about nothing.
POM: Mickey Morris 9.9 (3 goals, 2 assists, 6 key passes, 4 chances created)
Dryden's boo-boo is machs nichts, out 1 to 2 days. In the stands today was the boss of Millwall (League One) who is eyeballing Mark Curran and Mickey Morris. Uh-oh.
Yes! We get to play Curzon Ashton in the FA Trophy Final! They have two players with over 20 goals each for the season but they are not really that good. Heck, Curzon aren't even that good in their league, 8th in the Northern Premier League.
After taking his sweet ol' time like the punk he is, Charley Cousins finally signs with us on the afternoon of 20 April. You could have already started a match for the U18s if you hadn't dawdled. Oh for the love of Cthulhu! Because he didn't sign during his trial period he won't actually join us until 3 June. Idiot. At least I can bring him back on trial until he joins permanently.
Whoops! I fell off the "renew contracts" wagon. Next up is our Irish scout. Hmm...He's really not that good, with an 11 in Judging Player Ability, 12 in Judging Player Potential, and 10 in Adaptability. I'll wait. I'm sure once the game turns the clock and formally puts us in League Two I should be able to find better scouts.
I can also wait on my Sports Scientist. He's rated 16 and there will probably be better ones come late June. And that's it for now on re-upping staff. Two coaches are playing hardball and I want to wait on the Physiotherapists so I can appoint a new Chief. Same with some Scouts.
I was checking in on Kemar Kirkpatrick one afternoon and noticed that the leading scorer for the FA Cup is still Mickey Morris. He has 10 and the nearest competition on teams that are still in it are Kemar and a Portuguese striker on Sheffield Wednesday, each with 5. He actually might end up with the lead! Burns is in the lead with 7 assists. Bonkers crazy!
On 25 April the U23s have their final league match, destroying QPR U23s, 6-0. This leads them to winning the league, English U23 Division 4.
The FA Youth Cup final is the next day and somehow it's us facing Manchester United. It's a two-leg cup and the first match is in Manchester. Both legs will be televised. Wow. We beat them 1-0. There were 4,839 fans there and that brought us a nice little sum of money, £36,170 to be exact. Nice!
Good news, everyone! My AssMan now thinks Caffrey is currently Championship ability. This is freakin' awesome!
West Ham are on to the Semi Final of the FA Cup and now will face Chelsea. Kemar got another goal.
Our final league match of the season should see around 5,000 Brixton fans and 100 Chelmsford fans, according to my Press Officer.
Speaking of press, we also get a press conference. Let's count the trap questions. Only two out of the five seemed like traps. I'm surprised they didn't ask about our perfect season. Our first two seasons were perfect but the next two weren't. (I'm talking league play only.) I'd be pretty stoked to finish with a 1.000 average. I don't see this happening next year though.
The opposing manager praises our play style in the media. I praise his team in return when asked. A second question from a different journalist calls him blasé and that's because his team has to beat us and get some help not to be relegated. Poor guy, he's gonna get fired. Oh, my reply belittles the media. Don't like them in ENG, don't like them in IRL. (That's In Real Life this time. ;-))
I actually forgot to schedule a friendly but I'll be sure to have one or two in May.
Chelmsford are 21st meaning they are in the relegation zone. Their right striker though somehow has 32 league goals. None of their other players are in double digits. Ergo, we shall smother him. I'm putting Legg in goal today as it's conceivable that this could be his last match for us. He's been a wonderful player and deserves to go out with a bang.
vs. Chelmsford, 30 April 2022
Formation: Arrow (GK, DR, DC r, DC l, DL, DMC (Regista), MC c (BBM), AMR, AML, ST r (DLF), ST l (AF))
Starting XI: Legg, Lawford, Evans, Barnes, Curran, Caffrey, Flitcroft, Smith, McGregor, Morris, Burns
Subs: Ferreira, Rice, Noulas, Leary, Macey
From the get-go Montgomery Burns is looking Uninterested so he gets a shout after 6' but it's at 9' that McGregor chooses Smith over the strikers for a cross and Peter gets the match off to a good start. And 2 minutes later Morris also chooses Smith and we get another goal. Our squad is full of team players who like to pay it back and forward. As Smith does just before the break, crossing to the middle where Morris awaits a golden opportunity and doesn't lay an egg.
I praise the lads at the half but give Burns an Assertive ear-full. He's inspired. Except on the pitch he continues to be Uninterested. While action goes on I wait for the green light to Shout again to give him more words but before I can do that McGregor gets tripped in the box and Smith is tabbed to take the shot. Nope, no hat trick for you, Peter. Burns needs a swift kick in the ass. (I'm tempting fate on purpose, kinda.) But the game doesn't accept my changes!!! Dammit! Smith makes it anyway. Somehow this improves Burns' mood.
He still gets yanked at 60' for Macey (another possible final game), Leary comes on for Smith (hat trick, baby!), and Noulas in for Flitty Flit (he needs Match Sharpness). A Chelmsfordian gets the ol' heave-ho at 84' and we stroll on forward to a perfect season.
POM: Peter Smith 9.6 (3 goals, 1 assist, 1 key pass)
HELL YEAH! What a wonderful season!!! So does this mean Peter Smith wins the league Player of the Year Award?!
Chelmsford does get relegated and Sutton takes second. Now they have to win the playoff against Leyton Orient, Kidderminster, Forest Green, Barnet, and Wycombe.
I was wondering how the game engine handles relationships between managers. I played nice with the Chelmsford manager before the match and during the journo inquires. And his opinion remained Okay. After the match he was angry at me and went to the media to complain about mind games. I checked his opinion again and he now rates our relationship as Good. FM18 is broke in some places. I still think he might get canned.
(So I did something taboo. I opened the editor and changed his CA from 64 to 164 and his PA from 80 to 180. :-D FM can be fun too! He's 57 now so he probably won't ever see an increase in skillz and getting signed by better teams though.)
I thought this was the end of the matter but two reporters want to bend my ear. I defend him both times. Effing media shit-starters.
I made sure Evans got into the three league matches this month so he could get an pay raise. He's now gone from £600 to £750. Much deserved.
Morris also ran to the media, post-match. To praise Caesar. I like him too.
Speaking of, he finished with the most goals this season with 39. Heck, here are the key stats:
Also, we made almost £74,000 from the match. I hope this carries over to next season.
First off, I totally forgot to put Shaquille Bailey in; I've fixed that. Second, Lee can't make up his mind. Or my AssMan. Trust me, he's still good. Lawford still is really good, I'm not worried about him. McGregor had a bad month and those drops are real. And that Burns improvement is for real as he's proven to be a stud.
What can you say about a month in which we play only five matches, end with a perfect league record, continue on in two cups, all while conceding one goal and scoring eighteen? Well, a pessimist might cough under his breath, "Sugardaddy!" An optomist would proudly shout, "I'm an awesome manager." A realist would tut-tut, "Somewhere in the middle." Unregardless™, I'm having fun and can't wait to start playing in League Two.
Continuing the theme from last month, Ben Evans jumped a whole point in Jumping Reach. How is that possible? He gained a centimeter in height. This is notable as he was 19 years, 3 months, and 11 days old at the time. So now we know: A player can continue to grow into his very late teens, at least. I checked my records. There have been five other players who have grown in their 19th year. There were a lot more who grew in their 18th. I'll be sure to note if anyone grows in their 20s.